That’s right. You read it, you can’t unread it. I have a perpetually annoyed relationship with food. I mean, yeah eating is ok. I’m not the biggest fan, but some things taste good. There’s nothing I really go all
over (ok maybe pineapple), but I like to eat things sometimes. I have a minor weakness for toast, peanut butter and jelly and grilled cheese. Yeah, really horrible stuff. This horrible stuff? It’s not like I eat it all the time, or even frequently. Grilled cheese? Been over 2 years since I had one of those. Peanut butter and jelly? Not even once every 2 weeks, and even then it’s more likely to be a bite of the kidlet’s food that she either wants to feed me or has discarded. Been over a year since a whole sandwich happened. Pineapple, every so often (once every 2 months?) I’ll buy a few cans of pineapple or a fresh pineapple and eat it. Toast, yes. That’s a vice that had been daily, but for crying out loud, it’s toast! It’s not supposed to be a bad-for-you food. Two slices a day is not supposed to prevent someone on a 1500 calorie per day diet from losing weight.
I love my vegetables. I have no problem eating my 5 a day, often in one meal. For a long time after having kidlet I’d made rice and oatmeal my staples. Fine, but nothing was happening. So I cut out the rice and the oatmeal in favor of other things. For some weeks now in an effort to slim down I’ve been making cauliflower my meal staple. Instead of noodles or potatoes or rice, cauliflower. Fine with me. But now, that hasn’t worked. At all. In fact I ate some pasta a few days in a row out of busyness and laziness and gained 5-10lbs in a week. I am so frustrated with food. It’s not like I’m nutritionally inept either. I really try to eat as well as I can. I’ve used this http://cronometer.com/ for a few years now. Before it was a web app at any rate. So there’s me counting grams and portion sizes and not finding it doing any good. And exercise. I’ve had personal trainers, I’ve been good about going to the gym and it has only been minimally helpful. I used to go 5 days a week, 2 cardio, 3 strength days. I mean, I got toned, but weight loss was minimal. Now of course with a toddler, the gym is more or less out. I bought a treadmill and I manage 30 minutes a day 1-4 days a week. Usually 2-3 days a week. It’s all depending on how napping is going and then I work 3 days a week as well. Long story short I can not figure out what I am doing wrong. Probably nothing. I suspect I’m metabolically impaired, but not much of a fix for that. I mean, sure I’m on the sedentary side but this is ridiculous.
I’ve always kind of been a fan of the idea of people chow. I mean, it’s judged that meeting a dog’s nutritional requirements might be too complex or time consuming for the average joe dog owner, but feeding ourselves whatever, even if we are clueless is fine? Silly. Why isn’t there people chow? I mean there could be so many types. Oh, right. Lawsuits.
When we lived in the US meal replacement was fairly regulated. You had things like Slimfast (all sugar) and then you had things like EAS Myoplex for helping your workout performance. Or diet plans that you had to pay extra to join. Even prepacked meals of real food a la Jenny Craig would be cool if you could just buy them. Real meal replacement, like that for Very Low Calorie Diets (VLCD) was under prescription only. Not so here. You can buy them at a pharmacy. And I used them when despite everything I was doing I hadn’t lost enough for our immigration application. Using those barely squeaked me under the line. I even kept the weight off for close to a year until I got pregnant. Something about only wanting to eat french fries for a few months…
I’ve been trying to get some of that baby weight off again. But no luck 16 months down the line. Nothing that’s supposed to work is. Not breastfeeding (which although it’s supposed to burn 22 calories per ounce, a.k.a. 500 calories for a exclusively fed infant has thus far failed to seem to help at all), not toddler chasing, not our swim class, not the treadmill, not having cauliflower be the main ingredient in my meal. So I’m back on the people chow wagon. Because clearly I’m doing something wrong. I mean, I’m not asking a lot. Buying clothes that are under size 20 would be cool. I mean, at least then I could reliably shop at a normal store. I don’t really want to do the VLCD thing again. It does have risks (like dying!). So I’m eating at least a meal a day. Letting my toddler feed me if she wants to (she likes to share her food). Licking the spoon when I cook family dinner. Eating my vegetables.
We’ll just see.